A Call From Buenos Aires

Last night, my friend Manuel called me from Buenos Aires.

We hadn’t spoken for a while, and since I cancelled plans to travel with him that we had scheduled for next month, he wanted to check in to make sure that I was OK.

Once the personal chat was out of the way, he got political.

“I don’t understand yanquis. Explain to me why McCain chose Palin.”

I don’t really understand my countrymen, either. So, I struggled to find an appropriate way to answer Manuel.

Me: “Uh. She’s pretty, and she hunts and kills caribou.”

Manuel: “And for that she should be vice president of the United States?”

Me: “Uh, no. There’s more. She’s from a dysfunctional family and she leads Alaska.”

Manuel: “But isn’t Alaska one of your least populated states?”

Me: “Yep. But she goes to church. And her kids play hockey. And she has a funny accent.”

Manuel: “I still don’t understand Yanquis.”

I had to agree with Manuel. I don’t understand many of my countrymen either. How the hell can we explain the appeal that Palin has among certain Americans to people who don’t live in this country? I ended the conversation by telling him I would send him the newest Silver Jews cd and an Obama t-shirt (two things that I told him I’d give him when we were to travel together.

But, I really wasn’t ready to say, “50% of Americans are stupid morons who will vote for anyone who owns a gun and shoots things,” which is what I was thinking.

How do we explain the Palin to our international friends?

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4 responses to “A Call From Buenos Aires

  1. Pingback: How Do You Explain McCain’s Pick Of Palin To Your International Friends? « Falling Into The Gap

  2. I think there doesn’t need to be any explanation. I think her track record speaks for itself. We will see what happens when November rolls around.

  3. On this note, if your friend Manuel is from BS AS itself and considers himself a Porteno, then you need not have to explain anything to him. He either can see it directly, the ironic idiocy of it all, by looking in the mirror, or looking at his fellow countryman.

    BS AS and Argentina itself is one of the most Eff’ed up countries in the world, and Porteno (those that live in BS AS) arrogance is unmatched in the world, not even second to Yankees.

    For the record, my wife is from Argentina, rooted in the Provinces and of native decent, and the mofo in BS AS, those from European decent are some of the most racist, arrogant assholes in of anywhere. To be Metizo or Native Argentine is to be shit, to be of European decent and living in BS AS is to be almost “godly”!

    We were both in a very heated debate with a group of Portenos, that are hell bent on getting the Falklands back, consider it something of serious national pride, even though they are in essence barren rocks in the middle of the ocean where no one travels to for vacation, and for which a corrupt government decided to invade in the 80s to hide what else, the corruption, under a blanket of national pride, and got their asses handed to them by Britain. Remind you of anything else closer to home?

    Not that what we did was right obviously, but Argentines of all people, have not grounds from which to speak of against Yankees.

    Just mention “Falklands” to your friend and see where it goes… If he responds, it is “Las Malvinas and it is ours” plus throws in something about “great patriots” were lost there, then he has nothing to say about America.

    Argentines are the World’s Best Eff’ers of Themselves. When they protest the Yankees, which they love to do, they riot and destroy their own country! Hell, can you be any more idiotic? Their current President Christina, wants to get them out of their World Bank & IMF loans so it is not hanging over their economy anymore, and she raises their export tariffs on their grains & beef to gain revenue for the national coffers, and to get them to global market prices instead of giving the stuff away, and the idiotic Argentines, but together a national strike for months and all their perishable products go to waste gaining them no money and the people starve. The latest strikes, they were destroying their own trains. It is 1900s intercity America there with paid political thugs, etc.

    They have the resources & geography of the USA, are not burdened by the Catholic Church like the rest of Central & South America remaining secular from their independence, and have everything at their fingertips to give the Yankees a run for their money economically on a global stage, yet their infighting between the Provinces & BS AS for control of power destroys all that they could be. Their potential is enormous, their attitudes and reality resulted in 1st world potential, 3rd world reality.

    If McIdiot gets elected I would move their instantly, yet Argentina is the world’s biggest clusterfuck making the impossible to do and not starve or be killed!

  4. Hans, Manuel considers himself to be a Porteno, but he grew up in political exile as his father was a center-left Peronist who had to leave the country during Isabel’s tenure. Manuel and his sister Marina have a good grasp on how their country fits into the world and how fucked up Argentina really is.

    But at the same time, I’ve actually had a debate with Manuel in which he unequivocally stated that Argentina is a European nation. He seemed offended when I tried to tell him that Argentina is, in fact an American nation, simply because of the country’s geography and history.

    And yes, Portenos tend to be racist assholes. They seem to be really into their own beauty, so they mostly are incapable of seeing the beauty in in faces of indigenous people. Never, ever get them started on the inferiority of Paraguayans, Bolivians, or Peruvians. Their answers would offend most any North American.

    Their superiority complex baffles me. Yes Argentina is a country that I really enjoy. Now it’s a great place for Americans to visit as its one of the few places in the world where the dollar is strong. I think I would have hated living in Orlando when their was an influx of Argentines.

    The Falklands thing cracks me up. Guide books recommend that visitors never ask about the Malvinas, as such a question would freak out most Portenos.

    But be careful in a blanket condemnations of Portenos and Argentines. There are a lot of assholes there, but also a lot of good people.

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